A Reflection Post – Asking the Right Questions

Dec 20, 2011 by Sami

I was having a drink some few weeks ago and started a conversation with a rather pretentious obnoxious fella. I’m not good with judging characters upon a first impression so I always try to give someone few meetings before I make a final call. I’m generous with my time. I’m sure I’ll talk to this gentleman again (maybe two more times) because he has great questions for me. See, having good questions is a great thing. A lot of times we meet people that just talk to us, about their work, love, etc. They do ask questions too- “How’s work?”, “did you have fun at your vacation?”, “what did you have for dinner?”.  We need to break away from those questions. If we’re going to contribute to a worthwhile conversation we should ask questions that questions more than the ingredients of someone’s dinner. It’s fine to start that way but the conversation needs to evolve after that. Ask something that drives someone into a corner. Ask them to question their way of thinking. This is not to be taken as convincing someone that rainbows are a sign of water pollution.

I sometimes try to stay away from connecting with folks I don’t agree with which I think is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. The problem is staying away from them before I’ve entertained the notion of engaging with them and trying to understand their thought process and ask them questions that challenges their reasoning while expecting to get the same in return. Only after that I should make the decision of retreating from any engagement with said person. I asked you why you think that polluted water is the cause of the rainbow you see instead of the scientific explanation that I showed you on Wikipedia. If you still chose to think the way you always did then I chose to leave you to your own devices.

I want someone to ask me why I think Japanese is hard. Why I think Salt Bread and Sami is not a waste of money and time. Why I think revolutions happen with or without social media.